Shockingly Stupid
This brilliant piece of work is Shane Thomas Williams-Allen, 19. He was arrested in Lake County, Fla., in mid-January 2010 on charges of grand theft and car burglary after (shall we say) A Series of Unfortunate Incidents.
Police say he broke into several cars, including an unmarked Ocoee Police Department car, from which he allegedly stole a number of items, including a magazine for a police pistol, handcuffs, a Taser, and other items. When Williams-Allen grabbed the Taser, police say, he accidentally discharged it, shocking himself.
But that's not all. Williams-Allen also "locked the handcuffs on himself and had to call the Clermont Police Department to respond to release him," his arrest affidavit says.
After his arrest, "the suspect asked if this was about the Taser incident," the arrest report notes.
It's a good thing he didn't manage to steal a gun: he's just the sort to look down the barrel to watch the bullet come out.
Source: Orlando Sentinel
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Posted by Karl, Suffolk, VA on February 13, 2010:
Having grown up in that part of Florida, I realized the cities and county cited don't exactly match up, so I went to the article in the Orlando Sentinel. Although the way Randy portrayed the story is more amusing, the guy supposedly didn't directly taser himself; he set it off and dropped it on the floor of the car, tasering his foot (I have no idea if that is even physically possible). Also, from Randy's summary, I was at least given the impression that the guy handcuffed himself to the unmarked police car. That was apparently done at a friend's place at a later date. So, even though I still agree with the punchline, it isn't quite as bad as it was made out to be. That being said, the original article wasn't very clear about the facts either.
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I don't know how you got the impression that he handcuffed himself to the car. If that was the case, I definitely would have said so explicitly. My version of the story didn't say the town involved was in the county involved: this happened over time, and thus happened in both places. Last, the man shocked himself in the foot with a Taser. I think most people would call that "Tasering himself." -rc
Posted by Cory, Topeka, Kansas on February 13, 2010:
It is interesting to observe some of the assumptions made by the various people reading things on this site that aren't supported by the article.
Posted by Mallie, Denver on April 29, 2010:
"It's a good thing he didn't manage to steal a gun: he's just the sort to look down the barrel to watch the bullet come out."
And this would be a tragedy why??
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I don't see the word "tragedy" in the quoted sentence. -rc