Posted by
Anthony, Huntsville AL on April 28, 2010:
They should call him Henry the VIII -- I would bet it was with a different girlfriend each time. How soon until we see him back again?
Posted by
Patricia, Dearborn Heights, MI on April 28, 2010:
I would lay great odds that there was at least one girlfriend which stayed with him during his prison terms and continued to be abused after he was released.
There's always those women who think THEY are different and can CHANGE their abusive, addicted or just plain loser boyfriends.
It's a sad state of affairs and unfortunate, but it happens time and again. With women now talking to younger girls and women about their trials, we can be hopeful that these situations and attacks will lessen. The question is "what happens when these brutal men can't find women who will stay with them?" Do these men turn more to stalking or worse rape, then murder because they can't handle their anger?" They have to be able to address this anger from an early age if it's detected. It's too easy to miss because we blame it on hormones and teenage angst.
Spousal (or girlfriend or companion) abuse is one of my hot buttons.
Posted by
Lenny, Hialeah Fl. on April 29, 2010:
There are two women I know personally that were, when I knew them, always found relations that involved abusive men. When I heard this from one of them, I tried to talk her out of living with him. I tried to reason with the second one. I asked her why she remained with the guy after she got a black eye. She told me that she thought she deserved it. It makes me sick, but part of the problem is that they will not accept that this is unacceptable, regardless of the circumstances.
Posted by
Patricia, Dearborn Heights, MI on April 30, 2010:
Lenny, Hialeah Fl: You're absolutely correct, Lenny! There are those women, who from an early age have been abused either by their father, other close relative, their mother's boyfriend or their own boyfriend from a young teen age. Some are just looking for that father-figure, others have been beaten down so much that they think themselves worthless. It's a real tragedy! And usually turns into one later!
Posted by
Kathi, Florida on May 1, 2010:
His eighth DV charge? What a loser! But actually, not at all uncommon.
Ten years ago I worked at the domestic violence shelter, as a Resident's Assistant. The stories I heard were horrible. But many times, they'd go back again and again. Even if they finally managed to break loose from the abuser, before long they were often in another relationship with someone as bad, if not even worse.
As part of the intake interview, we asked questions about their family history of abuse. In 70+% of the cases, they were abused as children...by one or both parents, other relatives; sometimes sexually abused by a neighbor, family friend or relative.
I don't remember the exact statistic, but a very high percentage of kids from homes with domestic violence grow up to be abusers or abusee's themselves.
The pattern is often set in early childhood. As they say, "Stay with what you know!"
Even with lots of counseling, and a real desire to change, they can't (this is true with abusers and their victims). It's pretty much cast in stone, within their core personality and psyche.
I've often wondered why a person who is an abuser can spot an abuseable person in a crowd of 300 people...at a dance, a meeting, anywhere... even in church. They zero in on them like they have a neon sign on their forehead that says, "beat me, bite me...". Usually the victims are so lacking in self-esteem, starved for some love and attention, they ignore all the red flags, thrilled that somebody "likes them." A friend I used to have years ago was a 'serial victim' of DV. She truly believed a bad relationship was better than no relationship. Over the course of maybe 10 years, we rescued her from four abusers. Then she moved to another state, went through several more. Now is back in Florida, in another one! Sad!
Posted by
Bob, Renton on May 4, 2010:
My baby sister was a serial abusee. However, she managed to break the habit and is now married to one of the greatest guys I know. It can be done, but you need to be able (and willing) to build your self esteem.
Posted by
eileen in san jose, ca on May 4, 2010:
Do they not have the "3 times, you're out" law in NM?
Posted by
Robert in Missouri on May 4, 2010:
Guys like Centeno are what prisons were intended for. Sad we can't keep them out of society permanently because of their behavior.
Posted by
Mike from Dallas on May 31, 2010:
Domestic violence is usually only a misdemeanor, and the 3-strikes law normally applies only to felonies. Even felonious cases of DV are often plea-bargained down to misdemeanors, just to ensure a conviction since the felonious aspect is much harder to convince a jury. Due mostly to an uncooperative or obstructive victim.
While previous convictions cannot be used against a defendant during trial, a judge CAN consider previous record in sentencing. Still, the maximum sentence for a misdemeanor is only one year.
Not Just a Soft Drink - Comments
Posted by Anthony, Huntsville AL on April 28, 2010:
They should call him Henry the VIII -- I would bet it was with a different girlfriend each time. How soon until we see him back again?
Posted by Patricia, Dearborn Heights, MI on April 28, 2010:
I would lay great odds that there was at least one girlfriend which stayed with him during his prison terms and continued to be abused after he was released.
There's always those women who think THEY are different and can CHANGE their abusive, addicted or just plain loser boyfriends.
It's a sad state of affairs and unfortunate, but it happens time and again. With women now talking to younger girls and women about their trials, we can be hopeful that these situations and attacks will lessen. The question is "what happens when these brutal men can't find women who will stay with them?" Do these men turn more to stalking or worse rape, then murder because they can't handle their anger?" They have to be able to address this anger from an early age if it's detected. It's too easy to miss because we blame it on hormones and teenage angst.
Spousal (or girlfriend or companion) abuse is one of my hot buttons.
Posted by Lenny, Hialeah Fl. on April 29, 2010:
There are two women I know personally that were, when I knew them, always found relations that involved abusive men. When I heard this from one of them, I tried to talk her out of living with him. I tried to reason with the second one. I asked her why she remained with the guy after she got a black eye. She told me that she thought she deserved it. It makes me sick, but part of the problem is that they will not accept that this is unacceptable, regardless of the circumstances.
Posted by Patricia, Dearborn Heights, MI on April 30, 2010:
Lenny, Hialeah Fl: You're absolutely correct, Lenny! There are those women, who from an early age have been abused either by their father, other close relative, their mother's boyfriend or their own boyfriend from a young teen age. Some are just looking for that father-figure, others have been beaten down so much that they think themselves worthless. It's a real tragedy! And usually turns into one later!
Posted by Kathi, Florida on May 1, 2010:
His eighth DV charge? What a loser! But actually, not at all uncommon.
Ten years ago I worked at the domestic violence shelter, as a Resident's Assistant. The stories I heard were horrible. But many times, they'd go back again and again. Even if they finally managed to break loose from the abuser, before long they were often in another relationship with someone as bad, if not even worse.
As part of the intake interview, we asked questions about their family history of abuse. In 70+% of the cases, they were abused as children...by one or both parents, other relatives; sometimes sexually abused by a neighbor, family friend or relative.
I don't remember the exact statistic, but a very high percentage of kids from homes with domestic violence grow up to be abusers or abusee's themselves.
The pattern is often set in early childhood. As they say, "Stay with what you know!"
Even with lots of counseling, and a real desire to change, they can't (this is true with abusers and their victims). It's pretty much cast in stone, within their core personality and psyche.
I've often wondered why a person who is an abuser can spot an abuseable person in a crowd of 300 people...at a dance, a meeting, anywhere... even in church. They zero in on them like they have a neon sign on their forehead that says, "beat me, bite me...". Usually the victims are so lacking in self-esteem, starved for some love and attention, they ignore all the red flags, thrilled that somebody "likes them." A friend I used to have years ago was a 'serial victim' of DV. She truly believed a bad relationship was better than no relationship. Over the course of maybe 10 years, we rescued her from four abusers. Then she moved to another state, went through several more. Now is back in Florida, in another one! Sad!
Posted by Bob, Renton on May 4, 2010:
My baby sister was a serial abusee. However, she managed to break the habit and is now married to one of the greatest guys I know. It can be done, but you need to be able (and willing) to build your self esteem.
Posted by eileen in san jose, ca on May 4, 2010:
Do they not have the "3 times, you're out" law in NM?
Posted by Robert in Missouri on May 4, 2010:
Guys like Centeno are what prisons were intended for. Sad we can't keep them out of society permanently because of their behavior.
Posted by Mike from Dallas on May 31, 2010:
Domestic violence is usually only a misdemeanor, and the 3-strikes law normally applies only to felonies. Even felonious cases of DV are often plea-bargained down to misdemeanors, just to ensure a conviction since the felonious aspect is much harder to convince a jury. Due mostly to an uncooperative or obstructive victim.
While previous convictions cannot be used against a defendant during trial, a judge CAN consider previous record in sentencing. Still, the maximum sentence for a misdemeanor is only one year.
Read the article that everyone's commenting on, or post a comment about it.