Meet Lorenzo
A Safeway employee in Louisville, Colorado, allegedly frightened a shopper when she stopped at the meat counter on a shopping trip on January 31.
Nicholas Lorenzo, 25, asked her if she was finding everything, and then allegedly showed her his personal ...ahem... sausage. The woman said his chicken was being ...uh... choked while he was talking to her, and when he saw the shocked look on her face, he put it back in its wrapper.
According to the police affidavit, she looked away for a moment, and when she looked back, his ...well... pork loin was back out on display. She left the area and reported the incident to store management -- and police.
On another occasion a couple years ago, she reported, Lorenzo followed her around the store but didn't otherwise do anything alarming, such as offer any butchering services.
Upon questioning, police say Lorenzo admitted exposing his bologna, but when he appeared in court on February 1, he pleaded not guilty to a charge of indecent exposure. He is scheduled for a pre-trial conference on March 17.
Shoppers will miss him -- he always was happy to give out his special recipe for beef stroganoff.
Source: Boulder Daily Camera
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Most Recent Comments
Posted by Mike from Dallas on March 3, 2010:
Oh, lord, all the Pee Wee Herman jokes come flooding back, like the speculation that he'll die from Stroke. Or that he's particularly observant of Palm Sunday. But at lease we won't have Clara Peller hollering, "Where's the beef!"
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I submit that Mr. Herman got a bum rap -- there was someone in that adult theater to see what was on the screen that would be offended by what he was doing? Riiiight. But, yeah: the jokes were still funny! -rc
Posted by Bruce, Livermore, CO on March 6, 2010:
Amongst LEO's, such individuals as Lorenzo are known as "practitioners of the sausage arts".
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For those wondering, a "LEO" is a Law Enforcement Officer -- cop. -rc
Posted by Robert in Missouri on March 29, 2010:
Reminds me of a story I read some years ago: A man brought a can of corn to a checkout lane at a grocery and laid his personal sausage on the conveyor belt. The clerk, who was a woman, grabbed the can and hit his exposed member laying on the conveyor belt several times.